


It’s Human to Need to Properly Name Things

by ElfGrove



Series: ShiroPidge Week 2016 [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Fluff, Matt Holt and Lance cameos, Written on the assumption the age gap is small, beginning of realization for Shiro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-22
Updated: 2016-09-22
Packaged: 2018-08-16 19:04:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8113927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElfGrove/pseuds/ElfGrove
Summary: The Paladins rescue Matt Holt, and Pidge’s other name finally slips out. Shiro ruminates on the need to be able to properly name the things (and relationships) in his life.ShiroPidge Week 2016 - Day 2: Katie Holt





	

“So, that’s really her brother?”

“Yeah,” Shiro sat down heavily next to Lance in one of the Castleship’s many lounges. “Matt was on the Kerberos mission with me.”

“And there was no sign of their dad, of Commander Holt?”

Shiro shook his head in silence. Matt was in one of the Altean healing pods, and Katie had planted herself next to it, refusing to move from the spot until her brother came out again.

Lance rubbed the back of his head in discomfort, staring at the wall opposite the couch. His words were hesitant when he started to speak again, “So, do you know what her family situation was, that her surname’s Gunderson instead of Holt? Is it going to be awkward when Matt wakes up? I mean we’re her teammates, if we can make it easier… somehow…”

Lance trailed off, obviously uncertain what to say next. Lance had made no secret that he had a big family back on Earth that meant the universe to him. He probably didn’t know how to deal with a broken one, but Lance being Lance, he still wanted to try. Never mind that the only break Shiro knew of in Katie’s family was the loss of Sam and Matt in the Kerberos Mission and not the kind of things Lance was expecting right now.

“I don’t think… it’s my place to say anything.”

He had promised to keep her secrets. That she hadn’t shared her other name with the rest of the team was her choice, and he wouldn’t overrule that.

“Right,” Lance ran both hands through his hair now, as if he could banish his concerns. “And definitely not a great time to get around to asking her about it now.”

* * *

 

He dropped to the floor next to her, leaning over to peer at the computer screen she was typing away at. More intercepted Galra transmissions being de-coded and translated.

“He’s not going to wake up for hours, you know. You could get some sleep in your own bed.”

“And what if he wakes up early? Panics because he’s in some weird pod on a strange alien ship?” Katie didn’t even look up as she countered him, “I’m not leaving him alone.”

“I thought you’d say something like that.”

“Then why’d you even,” Her tired retort died half way through as he wrapped the blanket he’d brought down for her around her shoulders, tucking the edges over her legs to cover the gooseflesh there.

“It was worth a try,” He responded smoothly. “You’re so busy trying to handle everything yourself, someone has to look out for you.”

“It seems like everyone’s been by to check on me today.”

“We all care about you, Katie.”

She snorted, but leaned over to rest her head against his shoulder in as much a sign of defeat as he’d expected to get from her. “Thanks.”

He hesitated for a long moment, nervous to poke at the wound of the still missing Commander Holt, “I’m glad we were able to rescue him.”

“Me too,” She cuddled up against him more and he put an arm around her, pulling her closer.

“I’ll find the Commander too, Katie. I’m not going to let your family down again.”

“ ** _We’ll_**  find him,” Katie emphasized the word through gritted teeth. “What happened wasn’t your fault.”

He didn’t answer, only squeezed her shoulders a little closer to him in what might be a hug. He wasn’t sure it could be called that. Was a one-armed hug still a hug? She leaned harder into him in response though, so he figured it must have been the right thing to do.

“Stay with me a little while?”

“Of course.”

* * *

 

The entire team gathered as time approached for Matt to come out of the healing pod. Shiro found he was simultaneously trying not to smile or grimace. Katie’s face pressed against the glass in her eagerness to be reunited with her family was adorable, even though she excused it as just wanting to be sure a familiar face was the first thing Matt saw. On the other hand, he was worried of how Matt would react to seeing him again. He was still missing time from when he’d been the Galran ‘Champion’, and he was afraid Matt would know and hate something about him that he had no memory of. Worse, what if Matt hated him simply for escaping on his own? For taking so long to come back for him? They’d been best friends once, but that might as well be a lifetime ago after everything that had happened.

Matt’s eyes slowly opened and he wobbled in the healing chamber. Katie caught his shoulders when it opened and helped him find his balance before anyone else could make a move. 

In turn, Matt blinked owlishly at her for a long silent moment.

“K-Katie?” Everyone was silent as he shuddered, reaching a hand up to brush his sister’s hair back from her face. “Is it really you?”

“Yeah,” Her voice was hoarse when she answered him. “Yeah, it’s me. We’ve got you. You’re safe now.”

“How? Where?” He looked around, finally taking in the Paladins and Alteans watching thier reunion. “This- This isn’t a Galra ship, is it?” His eyes narrowed, then widened, “Shiro?! You’re alive?”

Shiro nodded tersely.

“Definitely not a Galra ship,” Katie looked back to Shiro for… support? What could he do? “A lot’s happened, and I’ll tell you everything, just slowly. You were in pretty bad shape when we got to you.”

“How did you even get here, Katie? I was so far from Earth…”

“You’re still very far from Earth!” Coran piped in cheerfully.

“Let’s get some food in you. You must be starving,” Allura stepped forward smoothly, offering her hand to Matt. “I am Princess Allura of Altea, and this is my Castleship. There is much to tell you.”

Allura started to lead Matt away and Lance grabbed Katie’s arm before she could follow, his voice a strained whisper, “Who’s Katie?”

“I am!” She hissed back.

“You never said your name was Katie!” Lance sounded horrified by the concept, “We’ve been calling you the wrong name all this time?”

Shiro could see the blood drain from her face and stepped forward to carefully remove Lance’s hand from her arm, “Not the time, Lance.”

Lance looked properly chastised and took a step back, “Right.” He looked back to Katie, “Sorry.”

They all followed the Princess and Matt to the galley where Coran and Hunk had prepared a virtual feast, Katie staring after Matt in obvious concern, and the other Paladins trading a conversation composed entirely of significant looks and hand gestures behind her.

* * *

 

He hadn’t realized how much he’d been used to 'Katie’ being a secret between just the two of them until the entire team knew it. It was just an adjustment, because he definitely wasn’t jealous over the lost piece of intimacy.

Katie and Matt had explained Pidge, as in pigeon, was a childhood nickname and she was perfectly comfortable being called that, but most of the team was making a visible effort to switch over to calling her Katie. which in Lance’s case meant repeating the name as often as he could find an excuse to. ‘Repetition helps to break habits,’ he’d explained when she’d commented on it. Hunk kept calling her Pidge, quietly telling her that Hunk was a nickname for his more difficult for most people to pronounce name, and that he understood getting attached to a nickname like Pidge.

Shiro sat alone during some of their downtime, watching Matt and Hunk get into a tense discussion over some engineering issue, while Keith, Lance, and Katie took turns at some sort of Altean strategy board game.

Lance kept going on about it being his turn next, each time he used Katie’s name making Shiro’s muscles tense reflexively. He tried to force himself to meditate, to ignore something grating against his nerves that absolutely should not. He had been looking forward to Katie being ready to share her name, share more of herself with the rest of the team. it didn’t make sense that this little thing felt like sandpaper occasionally being run against his skin now. 

He had gotten lost in his own self-recrimination when Katie’s voice broke in, closer than it should have been, “Can you come with me for a few minutes?”

He looked up to meet her almost golden eyes. When had she walked over? Had he been that internally focused to not notice?

“Of course,” He stood up and followed her into the hallway, wondering what she could want that required a private conversation with him. She was hardly more than a room away from Matt when she wasn’t actively in her Lion since he’d been recovered.

They walked together in silence for a while before she spoke up, stopping in the middle of a deserted hallway with her fists clenched, “Are you upset with me?”

He blinked in confusion, “No.”

“With Matt? Did something happen between you two I don’t know about?”

“No! Why would you–”

“Then why are you avoiding me?”

He froze, felt his jaw drop a few centimeters.

“I just– If I screwed something up, tell me so I can fix it. I thought we–”

“Katie,” He cut her off gently. “I’ve been giving you space to be with Matt. After everything that happened, I didn’t think you’d want me intruding.”

“That’s not what’s been going on. I’ve been spending time with the other Paladins, Shiro, it’s just you that can’t seem to look at me all of a sudden.”

“I didn’t mean for that to,” He shook his head and took a step closer to her. “You haven’t done anything wrong. I’ve just been– distracted.”

“With what? We used to talk. I could count on you being there when I was getting too deep into a project or being my insomnia buddy. I miss us being able to tell each other,” She paused in acknowledgement that they hadn’t told each other everything, but there had been more shared between them than with the others on certain points. “I miss our talks, and our silences. I feel like I lost you when I got Matt back.”

“Katie…”

“What changed?”

He took her hand and pulled her down to sit in the floor with him. It was how so many of thier talks had started, and he wasn’t certain how long this one would be, or where it would go. He hadn’t figured things out himself yet, but he was out of time for that if Katie was worried like this. It wasn’t as if the two of them sitting in the middle of a deserted hallway was unusual, nor was it an inconvenience to anyone with how empty the Castleship was.

“I think… I’ve been trying to figure out where I fit. With you. You have your brother back. You don’t need me in that role anymore.” He chucked at himself, “And you’ve never wanted to just be protected. At the same time, I got my best friend back. It left me trying to figure out what that made you and I? We’ve been more than just fellow Paladins for a long time now, but if I’m not a protector or a surrogate brother, or a best friend, I’m not sure what I am to you. I’ve been running my mind in circles over it, and I just don’t know…”

“You’re Shiro.” She scooted so she was next to instead of across from him so she could lean against his shoulder in the gesture that was a familiar comfort to both of them. “I don’t understand why it needs to be labeled beyond that.”

“I need to know what it is.”

“Okay.” She dropped her head on his shoulder with a sigh, non-verbally trying to think on it with him.

He leaned into the closeness, shifting until his cheek rested against her hair and he could close his eyes with a deep inhale, the discomfort that had been plaguing him unwinding a little bit. There was a familiar-ness to this he’d been missing, more badly than he’d been willing to admit, even to himself.

He had started ruminating on the lost privacy of her name again when it slipped out, “I’m sorry you didn’t get a choice about everyone learning about 'Katie’.”

She hummed noncommittally, “It’s been kind of strange, getting used to so many people calling me that again after so long, but I guess it was always going to come up eventually. It would have slipped out, or when we get back to Earth.”

“I think I got used to being the only one who called you that.”

She chuckled and cuddled a little closer, “Jealous?”

“No,” He spoke slowly, feeling truth there. “I’m glad everyone is getting to know you better.”

“But?”

“It’s just a little thing to miss I guess. A knowing who we were. I was the person who knew you as 'Katie’.”

“Hunk’s real name isn’t Hunk, it’s a nickname.”

“I know that.”

“Shh. I’m making a point.” She twisted, moving so he had to lift his head. He looked down at her as she looked up, a hand carefully griping his arm. “'Shiro’ is also a nickname. I’ve been over the Kerberos files enough times to know, it’s actually Takashi Shirogane. What if I started calling you 'Shirogane’? At least when it’s just us?”

He swallowed, considering the proposal. “What about 'Takashi’?”

“I could do that.” She raised an eyebrow, “Do you want me to?”

“I think I’d like that.”

“Then you can be my 'Takashi’.” She dropped back down to her position using his shoulder as a pillow. “Does that make you feel a little more comfortable?”

He wasn’t sure 'comfortable’ was the right word for it. Putting names to things was such a messy business really, but 'My Takashi’ definitely left him feeling happier. Warmer. He liked that. “Yeah.”

“Good.”

He leaned into her again, pressing a quick kiss to the mess of golden blonde hair before laying his cheek there once more. He definitely felt more at ease, having a name between them again.


End file.
